Do You Want a Better Life?

        The Cave of Now is a difficult place to be in, mainly because it forces me to look at my life each day – both before and after the fact – and reflect, anticipate, seek to enjoy and squeeze ever drop out of now that I can. As I’ve been thinking about that lately, I discovered that easily the most important part of my day recently has been the time I’m spending with God in Scripture.  Specifically, I’ve decided to read through some Old Testament books and study characters.

    I’m also taking a course online to improve writing skills (more on that to come probably) and the goal is to write every day.  My character studies and desire to write more is the perfect environment to share some of the things I’m learning.  I will start today with Enoch from Genesis 5: 21-24.

    He lived in a time where men were living 700-900 years a pop.  (And I thought being 30 was old!) His great great great great grandpa was Adam.  Enoch fathered Methuselah, the oldest ever guy in Scripture. His great grandson’s name is Noah.  So, in Genesis 5, it’s just this list of guys, how old they were when they had their first children (180 years old and having kids?!) and how long they lived.  There is literally no other biographical information.  Just read the first 20 verses of Genesis 5!  Did they have a family run business?  Where they carpenters?  Farmers? Where did they take their family vacations?  The text doesn’t tell us a thing about these men… but each of them lived roughly 800 years on Earth!

    But Enoch.  Whoa.  He gets 3 verses and they are stunning:

  

    When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived a total of 365 years.  Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away. (Gen 5: 21-24)

   Here were my observations:

1.The phrase “walked faithfully with God” happens twice.  Enoch’s life was marked by a faithful walking with the Lord.  It doesn’t say this about any of his ancestors. 

    2. He only lived half a life compared to his contemporaries! He lived 365 years.  Everyone else lived 800+ years

    3.  He didn’t die??! It just says “he was no more, because God took him away.” Uh…

     For me, the biggest take away from Enoch is that quality of life matters more than quantity of life. He had half the time of others in his days and yet, his mention in Scripture is that he was “faithfully walking with the Lord.”  This is challenging to me, especially since I get even less time than he did (and I won’t be having kids at age 65!). It forces me to ask the question, am I living faithful to the Lord?  Would people around me say that I’m faithfully walking with God?  It’s not so much that I want to be recognized for it, but that friendship with God is such a rich blessing.  It brings joy in the midst of difficulty, contentedness in the midst of scarcity, peace in the midst of anxiety. The benefits of walking with God are great in this life and infinitely greater in the next. 

     I think Enoch saw and lived this idea. He understood that a life lived with God, though it may appear short comparatively, is the best kind of life to live – a better life.  

     I want a better life - do you?

Hello Again

Did you ever think that you'd see another post from me here? I certainly wasn't sure there for awhile!  I tried to write at a different blog this summer (interactionsofjaime.wordpress.com) and it was okay for a bit (I will probably still write there too), but man do I miss the cave.  It would defeat the whole idea of this blog (the cave of NOW) to reiterate all that's happened in this last year so, I won't!

As for the moment at hand, I find myself diving into a new process of becoming a licensed public school teacher.  For me, this starts with getting a substitute teaching license and getting into a few local schools on a daily basis.  Then, it's researching and selecting a master's program online and working through it.  Seems like a cinch, right? ha.  I'm excited.  There is energy in this new plan.

In these last months, I've felt more useful than I have in a long time.  Perhaps it is not that I have actually been more useful (or that before I was less useful), but I sense my usefulness more now.  It's probably because my eyes are open more!  In any event, I'm quite hopeful that my thoughts and reflections will make their way to this space in the near future.  I hope that you'll join me here often.

So, I leave you with a photo of my summer.  I got to do some canoeing/camping with my dad and it was just the best adventure!  This was one morning on Birch Lake south of Ely, MN.  You can't beat mornings on the lake with dad!

Here I Go...!

So, they all speak English as their first language... that's a plus.  However, I feel just as much a fish out of water as I did 6 years ago (the last time I was involved in a church youth group) living and ministering in the Alps of Austria.  I just got back from the first youth group night of the year.  Can you say energy?!  

I'll be helping out with junior high this year and while I'm excited to be involved again, I have to admit that junior high is not my favorite age.  I didn't even get junior highers when I was in junior high!  There were many times tonight that I wanted to bolt out of there and get away from the awkwardness.  And what kept me there was remembering two experiences from my time in Innsbruck:

1. It was that completely awkward feeling standing in the youth room for the first time. not knowing anyone. not understanding any of the language. not one word. feeling completely stupid. uncool. feeling American. having thoughts like - what the heck am i doing here? and when can i leave? inability to remember names (or pronounce them sometimes). it seemed like this went on week after week with no end in sight... that struggle to engage instead of fleeing.

2. It was 10 months later, at a birthday party for one of my now dear friends, Judith.  The room was filled with oodles friends and acquaintances from the city.  Laughter and German chatter abounded and I was home.  I sat on the couch, surrounded by some of my best girls... girls I had gotten to know (in German and in English) in the past year.  Guys that I had hiked and biked with... students that had poured their hearts out to me because I had the time and desire to listen.  It was my little corner of Austria... in that room. I remember sitting on that couch surrounded by completely familiar... and be incredibly overwhelmed and grateful at God's working.

Those two memories made me glued to my seat tonight.  And I'm thankful for that glue.

Whoop whoop for junior high youth group!!

Even though it looks like an obstacle, it’s probably an opportunity.

This summer has been the most unique summer I’ve ever experienced, aside perhaps from the summer I spent in a different culture.  I say that because one would think that replacing a small little ligament in a knee would be a relatively simple fix.  It was a simple fix… a quick surgery and a textbook recovery. What I could never have imagined is how upside down living and rehabilitating this little ligament could be.  Here are a few of the big things that have been a challenge:

-   At first, literally moving.  A trip up 8 – 10 stairs would tire me to the point of napping.  Then it was bending, getting that range of motion to what my other knee is capable.  I’m still working on that, but it’s better every day.  Now, it's strength training in the muscles around my ACL. Stairs still pose a mighty obstacle as I’ve begun overcompensating in various ways to make up for the weakness in the muscles surround this little ligament.

-   Secondly, actually moving.  My lease was up in July, as was my former roommate’s planned stay in Stevens Point.  So, just two weeks after my surgery, a new lease and a new roommate started to be a part of my life. I’ve loved everything about this new place and the new roommate, but I tell ya what… organizing, unpacking, decorating, shopping, assemblying and repurposing is hard work without a recent surgery! It’s taken at least twice as long and I’m still not settled to the desired level. 

-   Have I mentioned that my business office moved along with my physical address? Again, restructuring, organizing, finding, assemblying, unpacking… with insurance files and leads.  It’s all been a challenge.

Of course, there have been bright spots amidst the challenges.

-    My younger brother loves to pack and unpack things into a van and trailer.  This man not only took everything I own down a flight of stairs to our van, but up another flight of stairs at my new place. Spending this time with Cody (and having his help!) has made this move possible and 3,000 times more fun.

-   Time to relax.  I’ve really had to slow down this summer physically.  I haven’t been biking, slacklining or playing ultimate or doing any sort of physical exertion beyond stair-climbing. This is much harder than it looks or sounds.  At first, it sounded like a vacation of sorts, until exhausting 3x a week physical therapy and daily leg-strengthening exercises were added to the routine.  At times, this is frustrating, but I’ve also been trying to see it as an opportunity for rest, recuperation, and retooling. I’ve read a lot, learned a lot about the Milwaukee Brewers (and baseball in general – fascinating), and got to vacation and reconnect with friends… all at a slower pace, mind you. These are huge blessings behind what was disguised as an obstacle.

So, this summer has felt like no other.  In some ways, I feel like I’m in a different culture because of the new experiences I’ve faced! I’m more thoughtful about a lot of what I do (mostly because every step is an opportunity to reinjure myself) and I’m excited about what the fall will bring as far as my schedule goes. Again, there will be some new experiences and chances to explore more of life and what it means to be Jaime in it.

PS – one of my goals is more frequent posts here so stay tuned.

He's got this, all this, all the time

One of the not so wonderful souvenirs that I returned to the States from Austria with was a torn ACL in my left knee. I was spending some quality time on a trampoline in the Alps near Salzburg, Austria and well... I guess they say you should always watch the landing.  I knew something was wrong with my knee almost immediately, but I wasn't sure if it was permanent or just something that I needed to "walk off." So, I wandered around Innsbruck for another 4 days before heading up to Munich for some more wandering.  Then, I got on a plane with all of my luggage and lived in the States for a week before I decided I had better just get that checked out to be sure.
 

With my mom recently having both knees replaced, my family has an orthopedic guy sort of on call.  The news of a complete tear hit hard, mostly because I knew that I would have to get it fixed and the uncertainty of that was pretty overwhelming.  Then came grief... over the fact that, even with surgery, my knee would never probably be 100% again. There was some "I'm getting old" talk in there and finally, I came to accept this as a new adventure - one called ACL surgery and recovery.  I guess that every exit is an entrance somewhere else, right?  I'm really trying to see opportunity in this, instead of another several weeks off of work, followed by some pretty intense physical therapy.
 

At this point, I can walk pretty easily with my knee.  It's in the plan to bike after I hit "post" here. Stairs are not super fun, basically because my left knee just feels really unstable when I put any sort of weight on it or try to balance on it. I do some range of motion exercises daily just to keep things loose and my other ligaments from getting tight or weak.  Probably the most painful thing that has happened to me was the instinctive reaction to stepping in gum with my left foot... twisting and grinding it into the pavement (twisting that mainly comes from the knee!) to get the gum off. Yowsers!  Did that smart, or what?!

Surgery is scheduled for June 28th. It won't take long - maybe 1.5 hours - and then the fun begins. Things on my downtime list: Reading, writing, helping at Riverside however I can, crafting, playing Scrabble with my mom, moving from one apartment to another (i know, right?), hopefully writing some more. 
 

I didn't want to spend my summer in a brace, being driven to and from rehab appointments.  I didn't want to meet my insurance deductible this year. I didn't want to give up things like slacklining, roofball, ultimate frisbee, or biking this summer. I didn't want to lose my God-given ACL to one He gave someone else.  BUT. I'm grateful for family and friends who are going to pitch in and help.  I'm thankful that I had health insurance so that I'm not footing the whole bill. I'm fortunate to be able explore other interests while I'm recouping toward those activities again. And I'm really glad that God has given wisdom to doctors and others to be able to reconstruct my knee.  He is good and He's got this, all this, all the time.

Just like that!

Just like that, my trip to Austria ends and I am hit with responsibility back in the States.  Pair that with disorienting jet lag, pictures to download, a trip to process and a bum knee to get checked out, one can imagine why writing here isn't the top priority - though perhaps the healthy one!

The last days of my time in Tirol were just stunning!  More beautiful weather, a church retreat and just oodles of time with friends.  It was literally as if I had never left all of those years ago.  Innsbruck will be my vacation spot in years to come.  I found that it was so easy to get there.  I mean, when I left for Innsbruck the first time, it felt pretty laborious... I was moving physically, emotionally and mentally for a whole year. There was a new language, transportation system, city, and culture. It just seemed like a big task and it was!  All I had to do this time around was pack a bag (full of way too much stuff!) and hop on a plane for a few hours. Yes, some have vacation homes on a lake... my vacation home is in the Austrian Alps with some very dear souls :)

A lot of people have asked me what the highlight of my trip was... It's hard to pick just one experience since they were all so special and varied.  Each could have been my favorite in a different category.  However, a big highlight for me was being able to share a story of God's provision in prayer with the Baptist Church at a retreat, speaking in German!  I was completely terrified by nerves, but I knew that I wouldn't have this opportunity often so I challenged myself to share in German.  There were about 80 native German speakers in front of me as I got up to share about what God had done.  As soon as I got up there, I knew I was among friends and family.  They had to shout out a few words (in unison even!) when I was a little stuck, but honestly, to be able to share in a language of another truly left me... well, speechless, I guess. Language is such a connector!

I'll leave you with a few pictures from my travels.  I hope to write more soon about some family history, life in my now, and the next big adventure for this lady!

On top of the Hafelekarspitze 2234 m

Julia, Lydia and me

In the old city of Innsbruck

On a hike above Rum with Julie

With Judith in Munich

Halltal

Yesterday, I was up on the top of a mountain (2200 m) via cable car.  Today, I was at 1500 m with my feet... and my good friend, Christoph!  We began at about 8a.m. this morning in Absam, maybe 700 m.  As we entered the valley opening to Hall in Tirol, it looked and felt like spring.  The flowers were in blume, the air smelled warm, the trees and everything was alive with energy.  We continued up along the way and as my energy ended quickly, we had to stop for some little breaks.  St. Magdalena was one place we sat and enjoyed the aussicht (view). 
Just above St. Magdalena, we began trudging through snow, and it smelled like fall/winter... the air was cooler too.  The Weißenbach (the creek I "bought" last time I was here becuase I loved it so much!) was running really fast down into Hall/Mils.  There was SO much snow in Tirol this winter, and a lot of it is still there in the upper parts of this valley.

We reached the Herrenhäuser (1500 m) and I was ready for a long break.  It was pretty cool that even though I was tired, I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, and then it got easier.  I guess I got my second wind or something.  The Herrenhäuser was a hotel/restuarant that has been closed about 12 years because an avalanche destroyed part of the hotel.  Because it has historical significance when the salt was mined in the valley, there is no possibility to rebuild it.  There is also not really a road that would support all of the machines needed to repair or rebuild... so, there we sat, by the old and dilapidated Herrenhäuser and enjoyed the most wonderful view of the whole valley.


After a bit, we "skied" down the snow with our feet and then walked a long way before we hitched a ride with a government vehicle to get us back down to Absam.  That little hitch hike cut about 1 hour off of our hike.  SWEET deal!  My feet are truly grateful!

Tonight: The Avengers in English!!