Alive.

This one phrase says it all, “And the people became impatient on the way.” Numbers 21:4 begins the narrative of the people as they wandered through the desert in the Middle East. The next few verses of the chapter describe what happened as a result of their impatience:

And the people spoke against God and against Moses, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we loathe this worthless food.” Then the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people, so that many people of Israel died. And the people came to Moses and said, “We have sinned, for we have spoken against the Lord and against you. Pray to the Lord, that he take away the serpents from us.” So Moses prayed for the people.  And the Lord said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent and set it on a pole, and everyone who is bitten, when he sees it, shall live.”  So Moses made a bronze serpent and set it on a pole. And if a serpent bit anyone, he would look at the bronze serpent and live.

The people of Israel, much like myself, had become impatient along the way and began telling God just how it should be.  They were breaking a number of the commandments He had given them as protection.  They were selfish.  They were honoring themselves above God.  They were not thankful.  They were sinners.  And they saw it.  Verse 7 says that they admitted their sins to Moses and desired to be free from them. 

God, in mercy, devised a way for them to live!  He had Moses make a fiery serpent (seems pretty easy, right?  Let me just go whip up a fiery serpent!) and raise it up on a pole.  Whoever looked on the serpent would live.

Fast Forward.

John 3:16… the most known verse of the Bible starts: “For God so loved the world,” I’d be willing to bet the “so” here isn’t like “so much” (though He does love us so much). It’s more like… “In this way, God loved the world” or “This is how God loved the world”… and it’s connected to verses 14 and 15 previously, which say, “And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.”

Jesus is our serpent.  We are sinners.  Every single one of us.  But God loved us.  He made a way for us to live.  John 3:14 says that Jesus was lifted up (hung on a tree-like cross) that whoever “looks on him” (read: believes in him) will not die, but live.

This is the best, most freeing news in the world!  Let the glory of Christ on that tree dying your death sink into your heart today. When we admit that we are sinners and ask Jesus to save us, believing in Him, He will deliver us from our sin and the death it brings.

And you, who were dead in your trespasses …, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.  Colossians 2:13-14 ESV

Happy Easter everyone!

On Overcoming Adversity

The scene is strange.  Eleven men found themselves dining with a stranger in a strange land.  Their father had sent them to Egypt to acquire grain from them during the drought.  The last time they were here, they were given grain, but also their money back in their grain sacks. Now, a trip to Pharaoh’s palace for a meal with a high-ranking official… what’s going on here?

And then, the master of the feast draws them to himself and says,

I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt!  And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.  For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. Now hurry back to my father and say to him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don’t delay. You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me—you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have.

                                                        Genesis 45:4-10 

“So it was not you who sent me here, but God.”  

As Joseph’s brothers began to understand who this benevolent stranger was, they began to see the deep faith he had in God’s plan. He held no bitterness towards them for selling him into slavery.  He saw the bigger picture. He had an eternal view.

And that’s one of the things I learned from Joseph in Genesis.

God’s Plan Trumps My Faithlessness

Man, Genesis is completely chock-full of amazing narratives… like, you aren’t quite sure if there will be destruction or love or both somehow – and I’ve even read it before!  So, as I encounter new characters in these pages, I am asking myself these questions: Why is this person introduced by God in His book?  What can I learn from them? Should I seek to follow their example or do the opposite?

I found two characters in mid-book that seem to teach me the same thing: Lot & Hagar.

Lot’s story is found in Genesis 19 (take a peak).  It’s twisted.  So, Lot lives in this wicked city called Sodom.  And this city is so wicked that God is going to destroy it, but Lot is righteous so God sends two angels to him to warn him to take his family and flee the city before God destroys it.  As these men are in Lot’s house, some men of the city come and ask to see these men so that they can do harm to them.  Lot (so righteous) offers the wicked men his virgin daughters instead so that the men from God are not violated.   This is a rabbit trail to the point I’m trying to make though…

Verse 15 ff: Morning comes and the angels tell Lot to take his family and get out.  And here it is: “But he lingered…”  It’s like Lot doesn’t believe them.  Then it says, “So the men seized him by the hand, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.” Again, the angels told them to flee and not look back – head for the hills (literally) and Lot disagrees AGAIN! Lot says, “Thanks for saving me, but I can’t live in the hills!” 

And then there is Hagar – the maid of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.  Now Sarah wasn’t giving any children to Abraham even though God said that Abraham would be the father to a great nation… so Sarah gives her servant, Hagar, to Abraham to bear his child.  (Truly, there is nothing new under the sun, eh?)  Again, not the point (just the crazy back story)…

In Genesis 21, Abraham sends Hagar and her son Ishmael away at the request of Sarah (women!). He gives her a skin full of water and she heads out to wander in the wilderness.  She just wandered.  And she and her son drank the water.   Pretty aimless.  When the water was all gone, Hagar pretty much assumed that she was doomed.  So, she put her son under some bushes and then left him… going a ways away so that she wouldn’t have to watch him die.  (I’m serious, this is all in the text – go read Genesis 21: 14-21.)  She’s given up on life… for herself and for her son… because… well, there is no more water. 

Then God steps in, in the midst of her lack of faith, just like he stepped in for Lot even though Lot didn’t believe the men He had sent.  God hears the little boy crying and goes to Hagar.  He promises her that he will make her son into a great nation.  When she opened her eyes, she saw a well.  There is provision.  There is hope again.

Both Lot and Hagar show me that God is sovereign over all things, even my choice to believe or not.  He’s going to protect Lot if He wants to. He’s going to provide for Hagar if He wants to.  And He’s going to do these things in the midst of their unbelief… because He is God.  It got me thinking about my own life and what God might be doing even while I’m not believing Him. Is He doing something in yours?

Do You Want a Better Life?

        The Cave of Now is a difficult place to be in, mainly because it forces me to look at my life each day – both before and after the fact – and reflect, anticipate, seek to enjoy and squeeze ever drop out of now that I can. As I’ve been thinking about that lately, I discovered that easily the most important part of my day recently has been the time I’m spending with God in Scripture.  Specifically, I’ve decided to read through some Old Testament books and study characters.

    I’m also taking a course online to improve writing skills (more on that to come probably) and the goal is to write every day.  My character studies and desire to write more is the perfect environment to share some of the things I’m learning.  I will start today with Enoch from Genesis 5: 21-24.

    He lived in a time where men were living 700-900 years a pop.  (And I thought being 30 was old!) His great great great great grandpa was Adam.  Enoch fathered Methuselah, the oldest ever guy in Scripture. His great grandson’s name is Noah.  So, in Genesis 5, it’s just this list of guys, how old they were when they had their first children (180 years old and having kids?!) and how long they lived.  There is literally no other biographical information.  Just read the first 20 verses of Genesis 5!  Did they have a family run business?  Where they carpenters?  Farmers? Where did they take their family vacations?  The text doesn’t tell us a thing about these men… but each of them lived roughly 800 years on Earth!

    But Enoch.  Whoa.  He gets 3 verses and they are stunning:

  

    When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived a total of 365 years.  Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away. (Gen 5: 21-24)

   Here were my observations:

1.The phrase “walked faithfully with God” happens twice.  Enoch’s life was marked by a faithful walking with the Lord.  It doesn’t say this about any of his ancestors. 

    2. He only lived half a life compared to his contemporaries! He lived 365 years.  Everyone else lived 800+ years

    3.  He didn’t die??! It just says “he was no more, because God took him away.” Uh…

     For me, the biggest take away from Enoch is that quality of life matters more than quantity of life. He had half the time of others in his days and yet, his mention in Scripture is that he was “faithfully walking with the Lord.”  This is challenging to me, especially since I get even less time than he did (and I won’t be having kids at age 65!). It forces me to ask the question, am I living faithful to the Lord?  Would people around me say that I’m faithfully walking with God?  It’s not so much that I want to be recognized for it, but that friendship with God is such a rich blessing.  It brings joy in the midst of difficulty, contentedness in the midst of scarcity, peace in the midst of anxiety. The benefits of walking with God are great in this life and infinitely greater in the next. 

     I think Enoch saw and lived this idea. He understood that a life lived with God, though it may appear short comparatively, is the best kind of life to live – a better life.  

     I want a better life - do you?

Hello Again

Did you ever think that you'd see another post from me here? I certainly wasn't sure there for awhile!  I tried to write at a different blog this summer (interactionsofjaime.wordpress.com) and it was okay for a bit (I will probably still write there too), but man do I miss the cave.  It would defeat the whole idea of this blog (the cave of NOW) to reiterate all that's happened in this last year so, I won't!

As for the moment at hand, I find myself diving into a new process of becoming a licensed public school teacher.  For me, this starts with getting a substitute teaching license and getting into a few local schools on a daily basis.  Then, it's researching and selecting a master's program online and working through it.  Seems like a cinch, right? ha.  I'm excited.  There is energy in this new plan.

In these last months, I've felt more useful than I have in a long time.  Perhaps it is not that I have actually been more useful (or that before I was less useful), but I sense my usefulness more now.  It's probably because my eyes are open more!  In any event, I'm quite hopeful that my thoughts and reflections will make their way to this space in the near future.  I hope that you'll join me here often.

So, I leave you with a photo of my summer.  I got to do some canoeing/camping with my dad and it was just the best adventure!  This was one morning on Birch Lake south of Ely, MN.  You can't beat mornings on the lake with dad!

Here I Go...!

So, they all speak English as their first language... that's a plus.  However, I feel just as much a fish out of water as I did 6 years ago (the last time I was involved in a church youth group) living and ministering in the Alps of Austria.  I just got back from the first youth group night of the year.  Can you say energy?!  

I'll be helping out with junior high this year and while I'm excited to be involved again, I have to admit that junior high is not my favorite age.  I didn't even get junior highers when I was in junior high!  There were many times tonight that I wanted to bolt out of there and get away from the awkwardness.  And what kept me there was remembering two experiences from my time in Innsbruck:

1. It was that completely awkward feeling standing in the youth room for the first time. not knowing anyone. not understanding any of the language. not one word. feeling completely stupid. uncool. feeling American. having thoughts like - what the heck am i doing here? and when can i leave? inability to remember names (or pronounce them sometimes). it seemed like this went on week after week with no end in sight... that struggle to engage instead of fleeing.

2. It was 10 months later, at a birthday party for one of my now dear friends, Judith.  The room was filled with oodles friends and acquaintances from the city.  Laughter and German chatter abounded and I was home.  I sat on the couch, surrounded by some of my best girls... girls I had gotten to know (in German and in English) in the past year.  Guys that I had hiked and biked with... students that had poured their hearts out to me because I had the time and desire to listen.  It was my little corner of Austria... in that room. I remember sitting on that couch surrounded by completely familiar... and be incredibly overwhelmed and grateful at God's working.

Those two memories made me glued to my seat tonight.  And I'm thankful for that glue.

Whoop whoop for junior high youth group!!

Even though it looks like an obstacle, it’s probably an opportunity.

This summer has been the most unique summer I’ve ever experienced, aside perhaps from the summer I spent in a different culture.  I say that because one would think that replacing a small little ligament in a knee would be a relatively simple fix.  It was a simple fix… a quick surgery and a textbook recovery. What I could never have imagined is how upside down living and rehabilitating this little ligament could be.  Here are a few of the big things that have been a challenge:

-   At first, literally moving.  A trip up 8 – 10 stairs would tire me to the point of napping.  Then it was bending, getting that range of motion to what my other knee is capable.  I’m still working on that, but it’s better every day.  Now, it's strength training in the muscles around my ACL. Stairs still pose a mighty obstacle as I’ve begun overcompensating in various ways to make up for the weakness in the muscles surround this little ligament.

-   Secondly, actually moving.  My lease was up in July, as was my former roommate’s planned stay in Stevens Point.  So, just two weeks after my surgery, a new lease and a new roommate started to be a part of my life. I’ve loved everything about this new place and the new roommate, but I tell ya what… organizing, unpacking, decorating, shopping, assemblying and repurposing is hard work without a recent surgery! It’s taken at least twice as long and I’m still not settled to the desired level. 

-   Have I mentioned that my business office moved along with my physical address? Again, restructuring, organizing, finding, assemblying, unpacking… with insurance files and leads.  It’s all been a challenge.

Of course, there have been bright spots amidst the challenges.

-    My younger brother loves to pack and unpack things into a van and trailer.  This man not only took everything I own down a flight of stairs to our van, but up another flight of stairs at my new place. Spending this time with Cody (and having his help!) has made this move possible and 3,000 times more fun.

-   Time to relax.  I’ve really had to slow down this summer physically.  I haven’t been biking, slacklining or playing ultimate or doing any sort of physical exertion beyond stair-climbing. This is much harder than it looks or sounds.  At first, it sounded like a vacation of sorts, until exhausting 3x a week physical therapy and daily leg-strengthening exercises were added to the routine.  At times, this is frustrating, but I’ve also been trying to see it as an opportunity for rest, recuperation, and retooling. I’ve read a lot, learned a lot about the Milwaukee Brewers (and baseball in general – fascinating), and got to vacation and reconnect with friends… all at a slower pace, mind you. These are huge blessings behind what was disguised as an obstacle.

So, this summer has felt like no other.  In some ways, I feel like I’m in a different culture because of the new experiences I’ve faced! I’m more thoughtful about a lot of what I do (mostly because every step is an opportunity to reinjure myself) and I’m excited about what the fall will bring as far as my schedule goes. Again, there will be some new experiences and chances to explore more of life and what it means to be Jaime in it.

PS – one of my goals is more frequent posts here so stay tuned.