Awhile.

It seems like the best thing to do to get blogging again is just write... something or anything.

I was in Florida last week. It was wonderfully warm and sunny. My mom, Codster and I drove down to visit my grandma who is in a nursing home down there. She and my grandpa retired down there at the retirement village for the Mission that they were with in Africa. Anyway, we stayed and the village while we visited grandma. I loved talking with all of the retirees because most of them knew of me through my grandparents and mother. Many of them had taught or lived in Jos with them. It's always so cool to hear the stories and I'm just blown away by their dedication to the Lord.

I have a new project at work. It involves taking the staples out of about 2,500 documents - each averaging 2 staples. It's in an effort to get the documents scanned so that if we lost the paper copy due to flood, fire or terrorism, we'd still be okay. I have cut the time in takes me to do 150 from 2 hours to 1 hour. It's just as boring though. I like to be efficient.

There. I'm fairly certain that more thoughtful thoughts will come soon. I have been writing, just not near my blog. So, tell me how you all have been doing!

mission.

I created a "wordle" to display my personal mission statement that encompasses things that are most important to me.
What do you think?

Hands Full.

Last night, I came into the darkened garage to find mom's van gone and a mine-field before me. It smelled of dog poo, but I could not see a thing. I shuffled in along the wall and tried to make an educated guess as to where Tasha had NOT been. Step. Whew. The motion-sensor light, however, remained off. My hands were full of my day and I needed to make another step. My eyes began to adjust to the lack of light and I could see shades of dark and light on the floor. I avoided the dark places and made another step of faith. Whew. The light blinked on, illuminating the rest of my trip to the door into the house.

In my mind, something else was happening. I was thinking about life and how I find myself in a darkened garage wondering which direction to move, really not wanting to step in #@%*. Scheiße. How do I make those decisions? How do you?

Snow-roof-ball.

Roof ball in the winter is a whole new ball game! I won't say that it's even more fun that the other variations because summer barefoot roof ball and rain roof ball is super fun, but winter definitely brings some new challenges. The snow on the roof for instance... it makes the ball resemble a Plink-o chip and sometimes it gets stuck. Cody had to boost me up on the roof to rearrange the snow and retrieve the ball several times. That was only after we threw our hands numb with snow balls trying to dislodge the ball from its hole. The snow on the ground also poses a problem... It's a foot deep in spots, but also packed into large piles in others. It made for jumping, climbing, and flying in pursuit of the next play. Let's just say that at the end of the game [i won!], we were soaked to the core, laughed-out and dog-tired.

It was a beautiful day. I also knocked myself out for about an hour in the snowbank today. That sun, it was just gorgeous and warm! I couldn't help but smile as I napped in its rays. The birds chatting, the ice melting, the icicles dropping off the roof and crashing me awake. There is hope of even more warmth out there... someday. It's been a good sabbath... and back to work tomorrow.

Perfect Couple.

What an utter joy it was to be at Luke and Kelsey's wedding this weekend! It was a perfect nearly spring day, with bright sunshine and warm temperatures. I got to wear a new, fun dress and $7.00 black heels, but enough about that.

Lukey and Kelsey pledged their love and commitment to one another on Saturday. It simply amazes me to see the power of love, to see them giving their lives for the other. This deep love and care breeds commitment, life-long. It reminds me how much I desire this love someday, but also about how much of a coward I am to enter into it, not to mention my unpreparedness! In any event, it is so wonderful to see... refreshing.

I've known Luke since the awkward "bowl-cut" days. He is one of my best friends. I've just met Kelsey this year, but it feels like she grew up with us too! She makes Luke so happy. It was delightful to see him beam as she came down the aisle. She was a beautiful bride.

A few of the highlights: Steve and Jeremy singing "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz at the ceremony. Sitting with the Perris and Handlers for dinner. Dancing my legs off. Seeing the men of Woodlands following Jeremy's dance instructions. Hugging the newlyweds goodbye and wishing them FUN in Breckenridge. Transfering wedding gifts for the 2nd of us in the Quad to get married. Drifiting off to sleep with a little grin on my face for the perfect couple.

It was all just priceless.

Asher.

If you've talked to me in these last years about literature, you will have surely heard me tell you about Asher Lev, the inspiring creation of Chaim Potok. He is an observant Hasidic Jew who is also an artist. I am halfway through The Gift of Asher Lev for the 2nd time in 8 months. The idea for "The Cave of Now" comes from this book. This book is worth every second of your life that you put into it.

The section I am in now is when Asher is asked to address a yeshiva class about art. He starts with simple questions about why we draw, what we draw, etc... but eventually gets to the deeper events of art. He says, "Art happens when what is seen becomes mixed with the inside of a person who is seeing it." [p.135] It is interpretation of the world around us. He drew a picture of a ram in several different styles, emphasizing different parts of the ram that the artist might see and interpret. It is amazing to think that we each have this power to interpret. I may not be an artist who paints or sings, but I write. What I write is a reflection of how the world around me hits me.

A few pages later, Asher connects this to the idea of the cave of now. A drawing. A painting. Capture something forever. Can see it all at one time. No future, no past. Only a perpetual this-moment, only nowness. While a painting or a piece of music or a passage of writing is a rendering of the artist's "now," it can also be interpreted in the future. Those of us in present time can only attempt to know the intention of the author, singer or painter from 100 years ago, let alone 2,000! And yet, God gave me a Helper to enlighten my mind toward correct interpretation of His Word.

Oh, I am loving Asher for how he helps me think about life. Chaim does not give me all of the answers, but invites me to get dirt under my nails and I dig through it all. It's good.

His First Day in Heaven

The sky is so blue in this arctic freezer. My clothes make no effort to stop the frigidness from stabbing my body ruthlessly and forever. It makes me feel alive, though painfully. The heat in my car, though new, only makes it feel like a drafty hunting shack. Even the sun looks like it has a layer of ice surrounding it.

The first time I've ever read Jack refer to his father as "dad." Dad has moved on to a place where he can see Jesus face to face. My mind cannot fathom what it is like to lose your best friend of so many years. I did not get to meet Guil, although I feel like I know him - the parts of him that Jack has inherited and become.

There is sadness, knowing that you won't be able to talk about the latest race or revel in the newest soaring stock. He won't be participating in any more coffee clutches. There are so many memories to wade through. The small things, you'll miss. There is stress and exhaustion, thinking about all that must go into grieving and planning for life after dad. eventually. How will mother cope? How will you? But woven through each of these layers is vibrant joy, like sunshine -- Dad did not waste his life! He spent it on the One... And there is more joy, for he is with Him now! He can see Jesus face to face.

It is odd today. Odd for us, but even more odd for him... His first day in Heaven. ... I think I have the wrong size wings. ... When's lunch? ... Whoa, look at all those stars down there! He can see, think and move more clearly than he ever has before. He is not hindered by sin. What joy there is in this day!! He is fully alive, though for us, it is painful.