We hear a song or read a story & the good feelings we get don't remain inside of us. We are either anticipating them, or we've had them & they are gone. We never experience them as now... I'm writing a story about a little girl who discovers a cave where there is a lasting now...
The Gift of Asher Lev, p. 99

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Concerts, Opening Ceremonies and Cribbage



This 3-day weekend has begun with a bang!! And there are still two days left of it! Rock on!

Last night, Ann and I took a little road trip up to Merrill, WI for a concert at OTTS Garage. This place is just plain cool... cool look, cool people, even cooler God, just cool! It was definitely the place to be on a Friday night in Merrill too! We saw Survive the Drive and Hyland perform. Good shows, for sure! And we decided that we'd hang out in Merrill again :o)

And then today... it started as a lazy day, in my PJs for lunch. After losing like 8 straight games of pool, I knew that I needed to spice up the day. So, I threw together SFOOG: Sherf Family Outdoor Olympic Games for the afternoon entertainment. We had team events as well as individual competitions in some lesser known, but professionally played sports. Bo-golf [a combo of Boccie and golf], Biki-ana [Biking + Banana eating], Roof-ball [of course!], breath-holding and cribbage were on the list of events. We took pictures, video and just had a blast together, enjoying the nice weather and each other!


The Roof-ball team competition was especially fierce, but mom and I came out on top!!!
The winners of the Biki-Ana Event - Cody & Dad.

And here's the highlight reel...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

And today I realized that I must find a more productive use for my mind and time...

I saw four letters today that bring me one step closer finally to solving this four-month long case. Four letters. There is a gentleman - I cannot describe him in detail here since he may, in some bizarre way, realize who he is. We'll call him, the reader, for he enters the cafeteria each day with his tray full of today's menu and a book tucked under his arm. He is olderish and he sits alone and we, my mom and I, just wonder where he might come from... We [or rather I] have given ourselves to finding out more about him. Perhaps it's the small bet we have going related to the nature of his work. Mom is convinced he works in IT, but I am not convinced. Whatever it is that intrigues us about the reader, we are intrigued.

Because I have LOTS of extra time around the day, I've been conducting an investigation for the past several months. I've scoured the internet and library resources about our employees, including old and new yearbooks and the employee web directory. I've staked out his table, hoping to catch a glimpse of his security badge. And today, when I least expected it, I saw them... four letters, as I left my table at work. I didn't realize what I was even seeing until I was halfway across the cafeteria. And then I wished beyond anything that I would have seen the smaller letters underneath the four that make up his first name. A first name is something, but a last name... that's identifying! My taskless afternoon filled up quickly for I had a lead to follow. I began making lists of employees with this name - referencing their desk location and position title. I googled, to find ages and possible photos [be aware that if I do this to strangers, I most certainly do it to friends!]. Then, I grabbed my water and a notepad [I've gotta have a good cover!] and began ticking them off as I found them and realized that these men were not the reader. I returned dejected and discouraged to my desk because each of the names on my list had been crossed out in red. It's back to the drawing board. I returned to the employee directory [which you cannot search by first name - dumb!] and began again, determined to find the ones I had missed.

Yes, I have a few more names and locations for tomorrow. And I will find him. I have four letters... it's a start.

Maybe someday I'll tell you about... the old woman.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Summer nights, do not leave!

In these last two mornings, there has been a chill in the air as my alarm went off. It is likely that the mountains above Innsbruck would be snow-capped after a night like last night. I have not gotten to wear shorts as much as I would have liked to this year. As summer leaves again, I get a little down. There was so much hope of delightful summer days, and it is not that these days did not occur. It is that they did occur and now, they cannot anymore. Or they will not anymore. I believe that is what saddens me -- the farewell to summer days and nights.

Today was an incredibly boring day at work! I spent 6 of the 8 hours trying to look busy. I did learn that to gawk means to stare at something stupidly. I gawked at the amount of time I wasted today at Sentry.

My evening has been spent shopping with Ann and then hanging out at EmyJs with Stephanie and Ann. I'm discovering what it is like to have friends who are my age and live in my town. It is a blessing for sure.

Look forward to pictures of my newest purchases... maybe later tonight.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Chaim says...

Fatigue is a wall to climb, not an emptiness to wallow in.

I climbed the wall today, but too often lately, I've been wallowing. What about you? Is Chaim right?

Friday, August 22, 2008

Enough Already! [#5]

This week, I’ve published reasons why I should not write a blog series. They included not having a regular audience, not having anything worthwhile to write a series about, the necessity to commit to writing about a certain topic for a certain period of time, and the potential that it has to get insanely boring. The final reason is that I can’t deal with the pressure to review and tie it together at the end. It’s been building all week to, what’s the last reason?!!, and then… it might end something like this…


Note to self: Don’t write a blog series. It just won’t work.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Fourth Installment

Probably my favorite reason I choose not to engage in writing extended series on this blog is that it just gets plain boring. I mean, I’ve read certain blogs for a while, but then, when a series comes that I have absolutely no interest in, I get out of the practice of reading them. Can you imagine reading about potty training your child or tips on keeping fruit fresh for a whole week?? Rest assured that I would probably think of publishing a series on proper pedicure procedure or techniques for watching paint dry if given the chance.

Nothing leaves my daily reading selection faster than a series that does not interest me.

Let’s hope that hasn’t happened here!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Reason #3

I know that you all have been losing sleep as you wonder what my final 3 reasons could be [probably just as much as I have lost trying to compile them]!! Reason number 3 is as follows: I must commit to writing about the same topic until the series is finished and God inspires on His own schedule. Committing to a series means not committing to other things. I like to write when and where the spirit moves me, not on a schedule. This is part of the reason that I never want to write for a living. Instead, I write to live.

Meanwhile…


My Beach Settlement

I used to live on a rock. It stood fast and unmoved. The fortress that I had there was strong so that no enemy could come against it successfully. Its foundation went deep into the Earth so that nothing could shake it. It took many years to build, but I did not do it. I inherited it before the world began.

This rock that I lived on was near a beautiful beach. It had palm trees and views of the ocean that would make any vacation-dreamer salivate. The ocean was bluer than the brightest blue and the sounds of the waves were soothing and calming, almost too calming. For the beach called to me. It said, come and enjoy me. I will give you lush life on my soft sand near the palms. Nothing grows on that rock of yours. I have the ocean at my fingers and the sun is brighter here than in the shadow of your walls.

And so, I determinedly left the rock – its strength and safety – and moved out of my citadel to the beach. It was so beautiful there. I had so much more freedom than the “prison of rock” that I had dwelled in previously. I could walk endlessly on the beaches, feeling the sand between my toes. The shade of the palms was a cool and refreshing break from the sun that shone on the ocean and reflected brightly onto my baked skin. Why didn’t I settle hear first, I thought. Its pleasures far outweigh that grimy old rock!

But then, the storm came. I found that the foundation I had built for myself on the sand was shaky… in fact, it was less than shaky – it was non-existent! The beauty of the beach ran toward ruin. The fierce waters swept away the life that I had built there on the soft sand. I was taken out to sea. In all of my time living on the beach, I had never learned to swim. I clutched a piece of palm that had surfaced from the wreckage in the waves. I spluttered for breath. In the distance, I saw my rock fortress, standing firm through the storm.

Its foundation was deep into the Earth so that nothing could shake it. When the storm quieted, the sun came out again, shining down on that fortress. I wanted so desperately to be back in my old home, thinking of the beautiful gardens within the walls of the stronghold that I had forsaken to the lure of the beach. On my rock, there also lived an old man. He was not much to look at, but he was wise. He had advised me to stay on the rock, but I had the beach on my mind. Its pleasures had outweighed the enduring word of that old man.

My life now hung on a small scrap of wood, waiting for the sun to dehydrate or the sea to swallow. I was full of self-loathing and without hope. Why did I think the beach was better just because of its fading façade? The tide continued to take me further and further from my home. And now, I was losing my hold. The end was near.

The old man from my citadel came to my rescue just then, in a rickety little boat that we kept in the guards’ quarters. He pulled me into the boat and as I collapsed on the floor, I honestly said, “Thank you.” This was, perhaps, the first truthful thank you I had spoken to this dear friend. His smile gave me life and hope, but he said, “Maybe next time, you’ll listen… but probably not. In any event, I’m patient.”

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Part 2 of 5: Why I Shouldn't Series Blog

Somehow, series blogging means that I would have to have something profound to say, at least 3 days in a row and about the same topic! This seems highly unlikely. Therefore, I should refrain from writing in series form.


Here’s what I propose [and Blogger is ahead of me here]: Simply use “topics” on the sidebar!


Because things normally stew on the back burner of my mind, to be revisited at my convenience, or when necessary, I’ll just put a tag on it as I write about it. Then, when you want to read about “culture” or see pictures, you can simply click there and Blogger will let you know what I think. This seems a whole lot easier than me racking my brain, probably unsuccessfully, to package these thoughts all at once.


Good work, Blogger!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Reason #1 in My Series

Today is the kickoff of my new blog series, entitled: Reasons why I should not write a blog series. I thought that I would try it because I’ve discovered that I either need to have kids to write about or publish a blog series in order to get people coming back. Since I don’t have kids [and wasn’t allowed to borrow any!], I thought I’d give series writing a try.

So, the FIRST reason that I should not publish blog series is that I’m not sure I even have an audience, let alone one that would come back from day to day to get the next installment. I know that commenting doesn’t correlate directly to readership as I read several blogs that I never comment on. But that said, an occasional shout out couldn’t hurt my ego and writing confidence! I suppose that you could give criticism if absolutely necessary as well. Just let me know that you are there and breathing.

Keep coming back for the remaining 4 reasons this week… ;o)

Friday, August 15, 2008

Things I've thought of today

Sleeping in tomorrow will be absolutely grand... first time in over a month!

I get to spend 24 hours with my bosom college buddy this weekend in Chippewa Falls. And I'm juiced. BIKING!

God is strengthening me inside somehow, to fight against apathy, idleness and complacency. I feel as though I could take on the world. I just may.

I have another job now! My cubicle [read: grave or tomb] is just moving several rows down. New boss, new co-workers, but a lot of the same work... and the same paycheck ;o)

I really enjoy the smell of pregnant women!

I'm discovering the art of looking like I'm doing something important while I slack off. Today, I overheard a good conversation in the hall. I wanted to hear the end, so I followed them for awhile, inconspicuously of course! Just look like you have a destination, even if it is only to check off a new bathroom from the list.

Next week in the cave: A 5-part blog series on reasons why I should not author a blog series.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Penelope, a whimsical delight

Penelope is born under a curse that gives her a pig snout for a nose. She spends her childhood in hiding until, at age 25, she runs away from home and sees the world [that she's only heard about until then] for the very first time. The most enchanting scene in the whole movie is when she opens her eyes wide and finally walks through the street fair, with the bright lights and street vendors. The cinematography in this scene is perfect, dizzily spinning around her as she drinks in this world that she's only seen in pictures. It is sensory overload, flooding her with new smells, sensations and sights. She cannot get enough as she goes to the zoo, the park and all of the things that we all take for granted.

Sometimes I wonder what holds me back from truly seeing what's real around me, to open my eyes wide and see what God is doing and giving me. What keeps me inside my little tower, unable to experience all that I could? I hide within the barriers of sin, doubt, and guilt... probably all three and a few more. I want to live with open eyes - not able to get enough of what God is doing - sucking up every drop that I can. Oh, let's pray for those kind of eyes, and the courage to open them!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Ok, so I live at home...

Sometimes I think that's pretty pathetic, but tonight was a sweet treat in my cave of now. Cody and I have invented a game called "Roof-ball." There is a complete set of rules for scoring, faults, fouls and proper etiquette for play. We play to 21 by ones and you have to serve to win. I have yet to win, though I served for the win just tonight. Cody has incredibly long strides so I have to rely on the quick little spin shot in order to make a point. His height also gives him an advantage so I'm literally left with lucky shots and annoying him by talking incessantly. That's hard to do when I am constantly out of breath!

Being able to spend time with Cody is one of the highlights of living at home. He's going to be a freshman next month and he's just growing up too fast for me! I'm not sure how much longer I will be living in the States, but one thing is sure: I desire to invest every second of it that I can in people and things eternal. Putting my head in the sand is just not an option!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Getting ready for our first hiking adventure on Saturday
We're just hanging out before dinner... Jeremy's a little upset that there isn't any Barq's in the pop machine. My pocket-book is too. I should never bet money.
Lou and I on a Boccie ball break.
Shadow ninjas at sunset
We loved our secludedish campsite!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Short Weekend Escape


Heaven will indeed be grand... almost exclusively because God will be there, worshiped as He should be, but it will also be splendid to spend eternity with these hearts that are so dear to my soul!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Camping

So, I just got back from camp long enough to keep my feet clean for 24 hours or so and I'm headed back to the great outdoors to get them dirty again. The events coming up this weekend have kept a permanent smile on my face all week! I get to enjoy life with my three closest friends... and also welcome a 4th to the group [Kelsey, you're great!]. We'll hike, swim, laugh, play boccie ball and live life together for a couple of days. Oh, these sweet hearts that I'm so thankful to have as family! I am grateful to every moment we have together... I know that time together doesn't come often [especially with all of the traveling I've done and continue to do!] so ..... oh yum... i can't wait to see you and find that willow again. How I've dreamt of it while we've been apart! Let's climb...

Next update: Pictures from camping!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Only so many plates...

There has been a lot of shattering plates crashing down around me lately. I acquire these new plates with every new friend, ministry or adventure I take up. They are friends, people to pray for, encourage, keep up with, tell stories to, etc... I have plates living on 4 different continents, speaking at least 5 different languages. And well, I try to spin them all and keep them going.

But a girl can only spin so many plates at a time before they begin to slip out of control. It's amazing how many "back burners" I can put some of these plates on... Each one is meaningful to me. I don't want to drop any of them, but the shear number of incoming plates simply means that I must put others down. How do I gain the wisdom to know which ones to invest in? and which ones are best spun by someone else? And well, today, I'm incredibly indecisive, so I've picked up and put down nearly every single one! I am not good at spinning!

so hallelujah! God is able to spin each one of us, forever and very well! whew.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

A Hard Now

The “now” of my life overwhelms me most days. It overwhelms me with confusion and questions, feelings of depression and inadequacy. Where am I going in this life? Why can’t I make solid decisions? Why is my faith so small? How can the Devil so easily win? And most of all, why do I still at like a child at age 24? The regression from independent and intentional living in Europe to being fed every meal by my mom in my childhood home is truly the most depressing of it all. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. Everything seems to be going wrong.

And for awhile, I tried to plow through this on my own, finding small upturns when the heartthrob of accounting walks by or when I have a day off to relax. Sometimes even, I find a good verse to assuage some of the worry and confusion. But every time, he walks away, I have to go back to work, and then I forget the verse. Where am I now? I am worse off and usually more down than before. Why isn’t this life working?

Last night, I began reading Amos. I think I was feeling guilty about never reading the prophets. While I didn’t come to it like a kid in a candy store, I was determined to read slowly and understand as much as I could. Most of it was judgment on the people of God because of their disobedience… losing land, families and ground against evil. The command goes out thrice in chapter 5, seek God and live [v5,6,14]. It pierces me, I have not sought, therefore I do not live. I have kept part or most of my life in my own control. And it’s not working for me. I contemplate a life spent seeking God and I focus first, and almost solely, on the difficult parts – the fighting for my heart, the sacrifice of comfortable things at times, the struggle to be holy. And then the end of Amos comes… and there is hope. Hope in Messiah, hope in Christ. I let Jesus take these fears and confusion. I commit my heart to fighting for truth. I am not wishy-washy anymore.

Keep praying for me. Danke.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Sun, Please Stand Still...

There are many moments like these ones in life, where I wish the sun would just stand still like it did for Joshua, letting me savor the moments I have in my cave of now.

It was the perfect summer night… friends gathering for food, fun and a love for Peru… I looked around and saw a table full of women, sharing kid stories. The men were out front trying to rip-stick. I caught a glimpse of Derek and Matt S talking shop, Terry and Matt K fighting about baseball. A missions team in the states is hosting a missionary family who live in Lima, Peru. This family is amazingly integrated into Peruvian society and yet, remaining strong and a fire for God. They see with their eyes open – the deep needs that the people of Lima have – far beyond the economic or physical need that an everyday person might notice. The weather cooled as the sun left for the night. Andria was a wonderful host, with a beautiful back yard with lots of seating. Derek is never without joke or wisecrack. Josh & I lose to the impressive skills [and luck!] of Matt and Austin. The kids play so well together, as if tomorrow’s church is meeting early. We have a common love – that is, for Peru and its people. And for us, when we stop twirling around our own tiny worlds and grab hands with one another, beginning to spin around each other, with our eyes toward God, it is a beautiful picture. It’s like time has slowed and the lights around is glow brighter. Our smiles and laughter electrify the night, causing artificial light to be unnecessary. There is True Joy here… people truly living, perhaps now for the first time in a very long while. Our now tanned faces are vibrantly happy. We are in good health, clean and together again, six months following our time in the dusty streets of Lima.

The Panaggios intensify the sultry evening’s excitement. These missionaries have raised well-rounded, missions-minded servants – five of them – while simultaneously doing ministry in the sprawling metro of Lima. These kids amaze me: Their easy-going & ready for anything nature, willingness to serve, and love for one another. Stephen announced that he flew Dr. Galuk’s plane here from Michigan – first time in the pilot’s seat! Jim remembered my name and their interest in our lives is truly admirable. I received hugs from each one of them after doing ministry with them for only one week.

We look back at last year’s clinic and anticipate this year’s … the dates falling in the end of February this time. A flower-shaped discussion of facebook arises as the young ones win over the old for the sake of long-distance friendships. The Brewers, Heath Ledger’s death, American Idol, The Dark Knight and HP 7 wander through our words. Church health in Condevilla and the challenges there also visit our conversations.

Twilight knocks and people begin to fidget with their watches. Our other worlds are calling us back, to make the “efficient and responsible” decision to end this reverie and return to race. I hit the snooze button, but others heed them, collecting their children, food and bags. The rounds of goodbyes begin once, twice and a third time before I make my exit.