We hear a song or read a story & the good feelings we get don't remain inside of us. We are either anticipating them, or we've had them & they are gone. We never experience them as now... I'm writing a story about a little girl who discovers a cave where there is a lasting now...
The Gift of Asher Lev, p. 99

Sunday, June 17, 2012

He's got this, all this, all the time

One of the not so wonderful souvenirs that I returned to the States from Austria with was a torn ACL in my left knee. I was spending some quality time on a trampoline in the Alps near Salzburg, Austria and well... I guess they say you should always watch the landing.  I knew something was wrong with my knee almost immediately, but I wasn't sure if it was permanent or just something that I needed to "walk off." So, I wandered around Innsbruck for another 4 days before heading up to Munich for some more wandering.  Then, I got on a plane with all of my luggage and lived in the States for a week before I decided I had better just get that checked out to be sure.
 
With my mom recently having both knees replaced, my family has an orthopedic guy sort of on call.  The news of a complete tear hit hard, mostly because I knew that I would have to get it fixed and the uncertainty of that was pretty overwhelming.  Then came grief... over the fact that, even with surgery, my knee would never probably be 100% again. There was some "I'm getting old" talk in there and finally, I came to accept this as a new adventure - one called ACL surgery and recovery.  I guess that every exit is an entrance somewhere else, right?  I'm really trying to see opportunity in this, instead of another several weeks off of work, followed by some pretty intense physical therapy.
 
At this point, I can walk pretty easily with my knee.  It's in the plan to bike after I hit "post" here. Stairs are not super fun, basically because my left knee just feels really unstable when I put any sort of weight on it or try to balance on it. I do some range of motion exercises daily just to keep things loose and my other ligaments from getting tight or weak.  Probably the most painful thing that has happened to me was the instinctive reaction to stepping in gum with my left foot... twisting and grinding it into the pavement (twisting that mainly comes from the knee!) to get the gum off. Yowsers!  Did that smart, or what?!

Surgery is scheduled for June 28th. It won't take long - maybe 1.5 hours - and then the fun begins. Things on my downtime list: Reading, writing, helping at Riverside however I can, crafting, playing Scrabble with my mom, moving from one apartment to another (i know, right?), hopefully writing some more. 
 
I didn't want to spend my summer in a brace, being driven to and from rehab appointments.  I didn't want to meet my insurance deductible this year. I didn't want to give up things like slacklining, roofball, ultimate frisbee, or biking this summer. I didn't want to lose my God-given ACL to one He gave someone else.  BUT. I'm grateful for family and friends who are going to pitch in and help.  I'm thankful that I had health insurance so that I'm not footing the whole bill. I'm fortunate to be able explore other interests while I'm recouping toward those activities again. And I'm really glad that God has given wisdom to doctors and others to be able to reconstruct my knee.  He is good and He's got this, all this, all the time.

1 comment:

jenny said...

Jaime!! You won my book giveaway. Give me your address and I'll send it your way! :-)